


Real/Not Real

by SourGummies777



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bokuto is insecure, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I love my owl son, M/M, bokuto deserves the world, bokuto koutarou protection squad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 09:32:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14767028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SourGummies777/pseuds/SourGummies777
Summary: “Keiji, do you ever regret meeting me?”“What kind of a question is that?”(Of course he does, you idiot all you do is ask him stupid questions and cry he regrets the day he decided to ever attend Fukurodani because of you you stupid-)





	Real/Not Real

**Author's Note:**

> Bokuto is insecure. The protection squad (+Hinata) makes sure he knows his worth. Not an orgy because my sister said the description made it sound like one. I tagged Bokuaka but can be read as paltonic or any of the 3rd gym ships if y’all like that.

“Keiji, do you ever regret meeting me?”

“What kind of a question is that?”

(Of course he does, you idiot all you do is ask him stupid questions and cry he regrets the day he decided to ever attend Fukurodani because of you you stupid-)

...

It’s three a.m. and Bokuto can’t help the thoughts that overcome his common sense. What if Keiji only tolerates him because he pities him, what if Kuroo actually hates him, what if Kenma means it when he says “You’re being annoying, Koutarou.” 

What if, what if, what if...

He knows that none of those thoughts is real and his friends love him for he is. Keiji is not vocal about his affection, his “I love you”s and “I care about you”s are hidden under “You should be more careful”s and “We should rest properly”s. He knows Kuroo loves him (if he were here he’d say “In a no homo way, the only homo way I go is Kenma’s!” and laugh loudly). He knows that Kenma doesn’t care enough to pretend to like people. He knows when Kenma says “You’re being annoying, Koutarou.” it’s because he wants some quiet and calm, not because he hates Koutarou. 

But everyone needs a reminder every now and then

...

“Come on Kuroo, you know you lo-o-ove me!”

“And why would I love your owl ass, man?”

“You’d die for this ass you hairball”

...

He met Shouyou in the training camp, and the little boy that jumped too high and dreamed too big was the first person to blandly voice his appreciation of Koutarou. The boy was just as loud and twice as cheery as him. He thought him how to feint and Shouyou showed him what it felt like to be looked up to. Even after the camp was done, they kept texting and calling and supporting each other at games. They laugh and talk loudly and shout together. It’s all good, Koutarou feels like he can be himself unashamedly when he’s with the younger crow. He doesn’t know if he’s being ungrateful or not. 

...

“Bokuto-san! Please help me practice my receives again!”

“Ahh, why of course I will! Because that’s what a good senpai does!”

“So cool, Bokuto-san!”

...

He is being ungrateful. So, so ungrateful. Keiji put up with him for so long, dealed with his shit for so long (it was his choice, he wanted to) and you just go around thinking he hates you the first time he pulls back a little you really are pathetic Koutarou what will you do next cry like the immature shit you are- oh no you can’t breathe, maybe now you understand what people around you feel like you-

“Koutarou! Wha- what’s happening?”

He can’t look into Keiji’s eyes and he can’t answer. He can’t form sentences, his thoughts float around his mind but refuse to come together and he can only sob and sob

“Please breathe with me, I think you might be having a panic attack now. I don’t know what to do if someone is having a panic attack, but please breathe with me Koutarou. I’m here for you. I’ll stay here with you as long as you need. Just breathe, and it’ll be enough.”

...

 

“I’m so sorry, I swear I was just being ungrateful! You’re perfect and you already do enough just by putting up with me, the whole panic attack was just me being stupid like always-“

Arms around his body. A lither, shorter body pressed against his. A head resting between his neck and shoulder and a calming voice in his ear. 

“Maybe I should be more vocal about how much you really mean to me. I might not be the best at expressing my emotions Koutarou, but I will do anything it takes for you to know that you’re important for me.”

“...Thank you, Keiji”

Keiji’s answer is holding him a bit tighter and pressing his lips to Koutarou’s temple. 

...

“Kuroo, shit’s not fair! You stole money from the damn bank didn’t you!”

“You wish, Hooters. It’s just you being a dumbass and forgetting I put two houses in the most expensive part I own!”

“...Maybe I was being a dumbass.”

Melted gold eyes that flicker his way. Dark brows that move into a frown. Calloused hand that hold his shoulders. It happens maybe in a blink of an eye. 

“Don’t talk to my best bro like that.”

“What? You just said-“

“I don’t mean it. My bro is capable of being a good ace and passing high school at the same time. When I call you a dumbass I am aware that you aren’t one, but when you say it you mean it.”

Kuroo hugs him and they sit on the floor, the game of Monopoly forgotten. Koutarou feels like an Ushiwaka-sized weight has been lifted off his chest. 

...

“You’re too loud, Koutarou.”

“Sorry, Kenma.”

He takes his water bottle and prepares to leave the 3rd gym for the night, because “You’re too annoying.” meant “Leave me alone.” in Kenma speak, right? (right..?)

“Where are you going?”

“Oh, I’m just gonna go for tonight. I started to annoy you so better leave, wouldn’t wanna make you angry!”

He says these words with a huge smile and a grin that can rival the sun, but on the inside he’s itching to cry. He moves for the door, but stops when a hand tugs his shirt. 

“I only said you’re being too loud. Doesn’t mean you have to go.” 

Kenma is looking into his eyes and Koutarou knows that Kenma knows how he feels, he knows Koutarou just wants some appreciation and just- just something to pull him out of his negative head place. 

“Your spikes are already good enough. We don’t have to practice them anymore. We can do some feints before stopping for the night.” 

Koutarou also knows that this is the Kenma speak for “I don’t hate you, and I am willing to spend more time with you.”

“Then let’s do some feints and kick ass!”

He misses the tiny hint of a smile on Kenma’s face. 

...

“This is Fukurodani we’re up against. I heard that their ace is something to be scared of!”

“Bokuto? Nah, he’s as dumb as two fish. Nothing to be scared of. Block two spikes of his and you don’t need to think about him for the whole game.”

The spiker and the setter of the team is bickering when the spiker- the one who was making fun of Koutarou- felt daggers at the back of his head. When he turned around he sees the setter of Fukurodani with murder in his eyes and looking like he wants to mop the floors with his face. 

“Hey, Ace, I think those two want to kill you.”

He follows his setter’s stare and sees two other people (the setter and the middle blocker of Nekoma, his brain supplies) looking straight at him. Their eyes read “I’ll kill you and your children” and at the exact same time, they drag their index fingers across their necks. 

“The game’s starting. Let’s go, Ace.”

...

“Keiji, do you ever regret meeting me?”

“What kind of a question is that?”

(No he doesn’t. Really now, what kind of a question is that?)

**Author's Note:**

> Alternatively titled as:
> 
> “I can’t write Haikyuu without adding angst in it”
> 
> “Comes in 5 months late with starbucks”
> 
> “This is me trying to reflect my inner insecurities and sadness to fiction”
> 
> “I wrote this at 2 am while half asleep”


End file.
